Let’s talk expectations.

They may not be the first things that come to mind when you think college, but they have a lot to do with the stress and anxiety that surrounds this time of year for high school seniors.

That may be because everywhere you go you’re getting asked some version of this question:

Where are you going to college!? 

While well intended, it can be a stressful question to answer. Some of you have yet to decide, or are waiting on financial aid, or didn’t get into the school you were hoping to attend. You might be worried what people will think about your choices, about not knowing yet, about your decision to take a gap year, about the fact that you’re not going to the same school your mother, brother, second cousin twice removed and grandfather attended, or that you are. You get the point.

Modern Family does it’s own take: 

A recent episode of Modern Family deals with exactly this issue. Nobody does cringe-worthy humor better than MF, but this episode was particularly relevant for anyone who’s ever applied to college and understands the stress and anxiety that goes along with all the whole “getting-in” thing. In the episode, Phil and Claire film their son, Luke, opening every letter and email from colleges he’s applied to with the intention of capturing the special moment he’s accepted. You’ve seen similar Instagram and Facebook Live’s these past few weeks, I’m sure. But when Luke receives rejection after rejection, it leaves him feeling embarrassed and discouraged.

But the real kicker is that when Phil and Claire realize Luke hasn’t gotten in anywhere, they take matters into their own hands and try to “fix things” by essentially bribing the dean of Phil’s alma mater (with magic tricks) into changing Luke’s application status to “accepted.” Luke quickly figures out that his parents are behind the sudden shift in status, leaving him feeling even more embarrassed and discouraged. Yikes.

But then there’s a moment…when Phil and Claire finally let go of their expectations of what they thought their son’s future would look like and realize that everything is going to be AOK, because Luke is a smart kid and will figure things out…something that Luke has known all along.

Lot’s of solid lessons here for students and parents.

I ran across this quote the other day on Pinterest:

“Stress, anxiety, and depression are caused when we are living to please others.”  – Paulo Coelho

We’re oversimplifying here and we know it…but expectations are a piece of that mental health puzzle worth looking at and thinking about at this time of year. In all of the swirling and twirling of questions and expectations, it can be hard to remember what is really important:

Guess What?

The only person’s opinion that matters when it comes to where you’re going to college is yours.

Be polite, but if you are not ready to talk about your decision, don’t. Don’t let anyone persuade you to make a rush decision. Take your time, visit the campus of your top choice if you can, and talk to students that are already attending. Review your financial aid package and make sure you know what you are getting yourself into financially.

Be confident in yourself and your future, even if it doesn’t look exactly as you expected it to, because everything is going to be AOK.